Well Ladies and Gentlemen today is January 30th 2008 and for all my fellow fashion whores and employees of the taste you know what that means - we’re only two days away from the beginning of it all once again – Mercedes-Benz New York Fall Fashion Week. I just got a call from a client in desperate need of an emergency fashion consultation, for an event she is attending with a very important client that she must impress; just for reference, she called me at 1pm, the event is at 7pm. To be honest with you it wasn’t until that moment that I realized it was already the 30th and we were only two days away from the shows. My wakeup call from her got me in full go mode and I’m doing what needs to be done to get her dressed to the nines to impress everyone in that room, including her client. Yes, it is normal to get a call a matter of hours before an event, with a client expecting you to turn them into a Vogue/GQ cover model, for an event with that limited amount of prep time. I’m really good at what I do, so this is not a problem for me. It also helps that the client happens to also be a friend that I love, so I like making her look as great on the outside, as she is on the inside.
I have not really been on my pre- Fashion Week grind this year, the weeks leading up to fashion week tend to be just as frantic and busy as the actual eight day week of the shows – credentials, castings, fittings, client meetings, shopping, calls, scheduling, bookings, photo shoots, and pre-parties - the list is considerably longer. However, this year – not so much of all that pre-week “stuff”. I’ve just been uninterested in the process. Since I was not able to attend The Milan Men’s Fall Fashion Week Shows (The real fashion week for us people who work in men’s apparel) a few weeks ago due to scheduling conflicts, it put me in a shitty mood for the New York shows. I wasn’t too impressed with what I saw back in September on those runways and all the bull that came with what the week has become. I didn’t even book a hotel room in the area as I usually do to save me the hassle of having to go back and forth from the shows to Brooklyn to events and parties. I’m losing interest in an event that seems to be becoming more about the celebrities in the seats than the clothes on the runway. When I have more celebrities, paparazzi, and entertainment gossip shows/mags present than Buyers, Editors, Fashion Photographers, Image Consultants, and Stylist – then it’s time to wrap it up and wait for the online coverage in the comfort of my home or just jack my Stylist and Editor friends for their digicam shots and notes.
As it happens every year around this time for the Fall shows and September for the Spring shows, I seem to become very popular. I’m sure everyone who has been reading this blog for a while remembers what last September was like for me. All of a sudden, people I haven’t heard from in about six months seem to miraculously find me in their phonebooks and need to reconnect - do the math, fashion week is semi-annual, and it’s that time once again. This worked so well last September that I have decided to do the list once again – THE FAQ LIST.
For all those long lost friends and all the people who love stopping me in mid sprint, as if I have an information kiosk sign on my head, I have created a small FAQ section. This is to save you any daytime minutes or for me to avoid your need to stop me from getting to where I have to get to, so you can ask the same questions your co- worker at Starbucks just asked me five minutes earlier. I am sure as the days of fashion week go on I will be adding more answers to this list, seeing, as I am sure you will be asking more questions. Peace, Love, and Fashion!
•NO, I DO NOT HAVE EXTRA INVITATIONS FOR ANY SHOWS.
•NO, I CANNOT GET YOU A MEETING WITH SOME DESIGNERS, BUYERS, BOOKING AGENTS, CASTING DIRECTORS, FASHION EDITOR, AND/OR PUFFY’S BABY MOMMAS, ETC.
•NO, I CANNOT PUT YOUR NAME ON THE GUEST LIST.
•NO, YOU CANNOT BE MY PLUS 1.
•THIS IS THE TENTS FOR FASHION WEEK. IT’S WHERE TWICE A YEAR DESIGNERS SHOW THEIR NEW FALL/SPRING DESIGNS FOR BUYERS, FASHION EDITORS, STYLIST, IMAGE CONSULTANTS, INDUSTRY INSIDERS, THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY THIS SH%T, THE CHILDREN OF PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY THIS SH%T. YES, THAT FASHION WEEK.
•NO, I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY SEAT TO THE CRACKED OUT STARLET OF THE MOMENT.
•NO, I AM NOT ANY PLUS SIZED, DARK SKINNED, BLACK ACTOR, SINGER, OR RAPPER YOU LOVE.
•NO, I AM NOT A STYLIST. I AM AN IMAGE CONSULTANT. YES, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. NO, I WILL NOT EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS. WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!!!
•I BOUGHT IT AT THAT PLACE UP THE BLOCK, AROUND THE CORNER, AND DOWN THE STREET. NO. NOT THAT PLACE.
•YES, MODELS EAT. NO, I HAVE NOT SEEN IT, BUT I HEARD.
•NO, I DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOU CAN SCORE SOME…
•NO, YOU CANNOT MEET ME AT THE DOOR FOR THE AFTER PARTY. I WILL MEET YOU INSIDE.
•YES, I KNOW WHERE DIDDY’S PARTY IS. NO, I AM NOT TELLING YOU.
•NO, OF COURSE I DID NOT IGNORE YOUR CALL. (APPLY WHICHEVER SUITS)
1. "I GET NO RECEPTION IN HERE"
2. "I CANNOT HEAR MY PHONE WITH ALL THAT NOISE"
3. "WE HAD TO TURN OUR PHONES OFF FOR THE SHOW"
•NO, YOU CANNOT SEE WHAT IS IN MY GIFT BAGS.
•YES, THERE ARE STRAIGHT MEN IN FASHION.
•YES, THERE ARE SUCCESSFUL BLACK PEOPLE IN FASHION.
•YES, THIS IS THE LINE FOR THE SHOW/PARTY. LOOK AT THE SIGN!
•YES, THOSE SHADES ARE PRETENTIOUS, BUT WHERE ELSE BUT HERE TO BE.
•YES, THEY ARE WEARING REAL FUR. HOW DO I KNOW?! I DIDN'T DESIGN IT!
•YES, YOU MAY GET ME ANOTHER DRINK.
•YES, YOU MAY PRACTICE WALKING IN YOUR 5 INCH HEELS FOR MY OPINIONS AND CRITIQUES.
•YES, YOU MAY FLY ME TO MILAN AND PARIS TO KEEP THE PARTY GOING.
•YES, I WILL BE UP FOR THE NEXT EIGHT DAYS AND LOVING EVERY WAKING MINUTE OF IT.
SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RUNWAY
~Tom Ford is still my fashion God~
P.S. I would have put up a photo of some black models on the runway, but let’s be honest – it’s New York Fashion Week – they don’t exist. Blog probably coming soon.