It was because of this love and admiration of these individuals that for as long as I have been reading them I refused to create my own because I felt it would have been an injustice to create a blog if I wasn’t as willing to be as open with all the parts of who I am good, bad, and/or ugly. I started a journal years ago and even in the confines of that binded red journal I couldn’t bring myself to be “me” I was writing for you. Each entry would be laced with pop culture reference, jokes crafted to make the future reader bend over in laughter, over-explaining reference of my own memories, with none of my soul on the page or I like to say completely top shelf (I call generic things with no depth “Top shelf” because all you see is what’s sitting out and never openning the cabinets to see the real stuff inside), just plain formulaic and scripted in most entries. I have read that journal at different point over the years and have been amused by something’s while disgusted and embarrassed by others.
The reason I said all that was to say that I started this blog with a resolution to put it all on the table. Seeing as this thing is only a couple of weeks old, I’m still trying to find my way and seeing if I’m sticking to my resolve. One great thing that came out of doing this blog was the realization of how many people whom I call friends actually have blogs of their own that I never knew of. Reading those blogs has informed me more of who these people really are more than any conversations we’ve ever had in however many years we’ve had to have them.
I have a good friend whom I’ve known for years upon years and up until today when he e-mailed me to talk about my blog (Thanx for the constructive critics Sage, truly appreciated the sincerity and love), it wasn’t until I clicked on the link to his own photo blog that I realized that this person that I have called friend for well over a decade was an amazing photographer with an eye like no other person I have ever witness the work of. This kind of disturbed me while leaving me equally in awe of his work. What did this say about our “friendship” that I wasn’t aware of this huge separate part of his life. Was it my fault for not delving deeper into who he was below the laughs and good nature? Was it his fault for not opening me up to all the sides that made him whole? Was it both are faults for not believing enough in each other to believe we would both appreciate and love the artistic parts of ourselves full of pain, desire, and ambition? I sat at my computer for over an hour going through that photo blog of his and with each click I realized I knew less and less about my friend…
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~we’re the warriors they write epics about~