Tomorrow marks the “Official” first day of New York Fashion Week, but with all the pre-shows, parties, and castings, it honestly feels like it started a week ago. This time of year, I become unexpectedly popular. People I haven’t heard from in six months suddenly find me in their phonebooks like magic, eager to reconnect. Do the math — fashion week happens twice a year.
So for all those long lost friends and anyone who loves stopping me mid sprint as if I’m some kind of walking information kiosk, I’ve put together a small FAQ to save you some time and save me from being asked the same questions your Starbucks barista just grilled me with five minutes ago.
I’m sure as the days go on, I’ll be adding more answers to this list because, let’s be real, you’re going to have plenty more questions.
•NO, I DON'T HAVE EXTRA TICKETS.
•NO, I CAN'T GET YOU A MEETING WITH SOME DESIGNERS, BUYERS, BOOKING AGENTS, CASTING DIRECTORS, FASHION EDITORS, PUFFY’S BABY MOMMAS, ETC.
•NO, I CAN'T PUT YOUR NAME ON THE GUEST LIST.
•THIS IS THE TENTS FOR FASHION WEEK. IT’S WHERE TWICE A YEAR DESIGNERS SHOW THEIR NEW FALL/SPRING DESIGNS FOR BUYERS, INDUSTRY INSIDERS, THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY THIS SH%T, THE CHILDREN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD BUY THIS SH%T. YES, THAT FASHION WEEK.
•NO, I WON'T GIVE UP MY SEAT TO THE CRACKED OUT STARLET OF THE MOMENT.
•NO, I AM NOT ANY PLUS SIZED, DARK SKINNED BLACK ACTOR, SINGER, OR RAPPER YOU LOVE.
•NO, I’M NOT A STYLIST. I’M AN IMAGE CONSULTANT. YES, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. NO, I WILL NOT EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS. WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!!!
•I BOUGHT IT AT THAT PLACE UP THE BLOCK AND AROUND THE CORNER. NO, NOT THAT PLACE.
•YES, MODELS EAT. I HAVEN’T SEEN IT, BUT I HEARD.
•NO, I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU CAN SCORE SOME…
•NO, YOU CAN'T MEET ME AT THE DOOR FOR THE AFTER PARTY. I'LL MEET YOU INSIDE.
•YES, I KNOW WHERE DIDDY’S PARTY IS AT. NO, I’M NOT TELLING YOU.
•NO, OF COURSE I DIDN’T IGNORE YOUR CALL. 1. I GET NO RECEPTION IN HERE. 2. I CAN’T HEAR MY PHONE WITH ALL THAT NOISE. 3. WE HAD TO TURN OUR PHONES OFF FOR THE SHOW. (WHICHEVER ONE FITS)
•NO, YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT'S IN MY GIFT BAGS.
•YES, THERE ARE STRAIGHT MEN IN FASHION.
•YES, THERE ARE SUCCESSFUL BLACK PEOPLE IN FASHION.
•YES, THIS IS THE LINE FOR THE SHOW. LOOK AT THE SIGN!
•YES, THOSE SHADES ARE PRETENTIOUS, BUT WHERE ELSE BUT HERE TO BE.
•YES, THEY ARE WEARING REAL FUR. HOW DO I KNOW I DIDN'T DESIGN IT.
•YES, YOU MAY GET ME ANOTHER DRINK.
•YES, YOU MAY PRACTICE WALKING IN YOUR 5 INCH HEELS FOR MY OPINIONS AND CRITIQUES.
•YES, YOU MAY FLY ME TO MILAN AND PARIS TO KEEP THE PARTY GOING.
•YES, I WILL BE UP FOR THE NEXT EIGHT DAYS AND LOVING EVERY WAKING MINUTE OF IT.
GVG
~we're the warriors they write epics about~
3 comments:
Grady, This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO True! why is it that people you dont see thru out the year all of a sudden "Knows You" around fashion week. The funny thing is when they see you on line to the after party they want to walk in with you... then when you ask "why didnt you call me" they say "Oh I need your number again, I lost my cell"... yeah, Yeah, yeah.... Whateva!!!
Lorna Litz
Lorna, HELL YEA! I know people who "lose their phone" like every week, but can always find your ass on a line with 500 people on it. Punk ass mothasuckas.
GVG
~we're the warriors they write epics about~
I know this post is old, but I have to reply to this hope she gets to see it,lol..Lorna as long as I known you I have your # I text you, I email you and I call you. Then why is it when fashion week comes I never get a call or be online with you, hummmmmm, punk! lol lol lol
David Cortes
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