Tomorrow is the “Official” first day of New York Fashion week, but with so many pre-shows, parties, and castings it seems like it started a week ago. So around this time of year I seem to become very popular and all of a sudden people I haven’t heard from in about six months seem to miraculously find me in their phonebooks and need to reconnect - do the math, fashion week is semi-annual. So for all those long lost friends and all the people who love stopping me in mid sprint as if I have an information kiosk sign on my head; I have created a small FAQ section to save you any daytime minutes and stopping me from getting where I have to get to asking the same questions your co- worker at Starbucks just asked me five minutes earlier. I’m sure as the days of fashion week go on I will be adding more answers to this list seeing as I’m sure you’ll be asking more questions.
•NO, I DON'T HAVE EXTRA TICKETS.
•NO, I CAN'T GET YOU A MEETING WITH SOME DESIGNERS, BUYERS, BOOKING AGENTS, CASTING DIRECTORS, FASHION EDITORS, PUFFY’S BABY MOMMAS, ETC.
•NO, I CAN'T PUT YOUR NAME ON THE GUEST LIST.
•THIS IS THE TENTS FOR FASHION WEEK. IT’S WHERE TWICE A YEAR DESIGNERS SHOW THEIR NEW FALL/SPRING DESIGNS FOR BUYERS, INDUSTRY INSIDERS, THE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY THIS SH%T, THE CHILDREN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD BUY THIS SH%T. YES, THAT FASHION WEEK.
•NO, I WON'T GIVE UP MY SEAT TO THE CRACKED OUT STARLET OF THE MOMENT.
•NO, I AM NOT ANY PLUS SIZED, DARK SKINNED BLACK ACTOR, SINGER, OR RAPPER YOU LOVE.
•NO, I’M NOT A STYLIST. I’M AN IMAGE CONSULTANT. YES, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. NO, I WILL NOT EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS. WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!!!
•I BOUGHT IT AT THAT PLACE UP THE BLOCK AND AROUND THE CORNER. NO, NOT THAT PLACE.
•YES, MODELS EAT. I HAVEN’T SEEN IT, BUT I HEARD.
•NO, I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU CAN SCORE SOME…
•NO, YOU CAN'T MEET ME AT THE DOOR FOR THE AFTER PARTY. I'LL MEET YOU INSIDE.
•YES, I KNOW WHERE DIDDY’S PARTY IS AT. NO, I’M NOT TELLING YOU.
•NO, OF COURSE I DIDN’T IGNORE YOUR CALL. 1. I GET NO RECEPTION IN HERE. 2. I CAN’T HEAR MY PHONE WITH ALL THAT NOISE. 3. WE HAD TO TURN OUR PHONES OFF FOR THE SHOW. (WHICHEVER ONE FITS)
•NO, YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT'S IN MY GIFT BAGS.
•YES, THERE ARE STRAIGHT MEN IN FASHION.
•YES, THERE ARE SUCCESSFUL BLACK PEOPLE IN FASHION.
•YES, THIS IS THE LINE FOR THE SHOW. LOOK AT THE SIGN!
•YES, THOSE SHADES ARE PRETENTIOUS, BUT WHERE ELSE BUT HERE TO BE.
•YES, THEY ARE WEARING REAL FUR. HOW DO I KNOW I DIDN'T DESIGN IT.
•YES, YOU MAY GET ME ANOTHER DRINK.
•YES, YOU MAY PRACTICE WALKING IN YOUR 5 INCH HEELS FOR MY OPINIONS AND CRITIQUES.
•YES, YOU MAY FLY ME TO MILAN AND PARIS TO KEEP THE PARTY GOING.
•YES, I WILL BE UP FOR THE NEXT EIGHT DAYS AND LOVING EVERY WAKING MINUTE OF IT.
~we're the warriors they write epics about~